A Rock Submerged in My World

Cara Jean Kamehiro
2 February 2011
FD1

A Rock Submerged in My World
There are so many rocks scattered in the giant Pacific Ocean and I am lucky to have landed on the one called Hawaii, or more specifically, Oahu. I think about Honolulu, Hawaii as my home town, my place in this world, my rock, and my personal paradise. I can see all the beauty and diverse culture all around me. Many may come down here and see a version of Oahu's beauty that contains the beautiful mountains that are great for hikes, white sandy beaches, crystal blue oceans that reflect of the sky, a warm ray of sunshine, and just a great place to escape to. But like I said, Oahu is my home town, the place of my birth and rebirth as I find myself here without ever leaving. [THESIS] When finding myself I also find a father from above that guided my mother and I to overcome our worst fear of her daughter losing her childhood too young, and myself becoming a mother.[THESIS]

Strolling down the beach, sand between my toes, waves to my ankles, breeze in my hair, sunglasses that cover half my face, Ipod bursts music through my veins, and the sun on my cheeks. With a perfect life like this, I like to think I am the only one on this rock of paradise. So peaceful and calm I can see only the horizon ahead of me and a force telling me to keep moving forward, no matter how heavy the wet sand may get. For now I can only see the surface of life in this world I am living in. The surface beauty that all people see when they come here for vacation, or just to visit. As the thought of life ran through my brain, "There's Gotta Be More To Life" by Stacie Orrico streams through the cheap earphones I got a while back from a convenient store around the block from my house. What a coincidence that this happened, I start to ask myself, could this be a sign from above? I come to brush it off in a few seconds and just decide to enjoy the walk and the song.

Living on Oahu for so long and not leaving this place for a long period of time is like a long term couple in love. Eventually, I see Oahu's true self and all of its' ugliness.  Like a person, places are not all perfect. I can start to see all the pollution being exposed to the air, all the littering in the sand and in the waters, homeless people sleeping around every corner, and how the once crystal blue water becomes an ugly mercy brown color. "Sitting Waiting Wishing" by John Meyer plays now as I sit and gaze into the humid and muggy air that is a heat wave that usually settles right before a big storm. Just then, I could see a huge rain cloud that looks like a huge flying UFO overhead. It is so heavy it is ready to pour down rain like there should be an ark somewhere waiting to save the human race, and wash away the thick mug that fills the air.

A block away from running home from the beach I can feel raindrops beat down harder and harder within seconds. Thank you UFO, for you did deliver and pour down like there was no tomorrow. I finally make it in the door, and I try to dry myself off as much as I can while praying that my Ipod still works after all that down pour. I turn on the news to see what the deal is with this weather while I sip on some hot coco to warm up hopefully to prevent a cold. Sure enough an unexpected tropical storm approaches Honolulu for the next couple of days. Hearing this news I know that my summer is officially over as we head into, what we like to call, "our winter weather". Thinking about this storm, I am loving the cool air hit my sunburned cheeks from an entire summer of sun bathing. Unaware at the moment that the cool air I felt on the surface of my skin was about to penetrate my whole life with one simple test. A test of life that many would consider a failure, and others would consider a gift. Knowing my history with tests, I knew I would be jugged by society as a failure, as a daughter and a teenaged girl. Sure enough, that is exactly what happened.

Time flew more into late October and the storm only got worse after that first part of the test. Early November came by and all hell broke loose with the biggest thunderstorm of the year! At this point was the point of no return, I was crashing and burning like the thunder pounding on my roof and my tears like the rain flooding the streets. Thank you God, father from up above, for the mother who sat next to me and comforted me as she saw the lightning flash before her baby girls' eyes. As her life had made one of its own with no consent and both forced to watch it consumed her for the next six months. As I accepted the warm embrace of my mom, never feeling her love more than now I knew she is the reason why the thunderstorm passed quicker than predicted by Guy Hagi on KHNL news.

Normally, after a storm passes I can look out my window and see all the crisp and vibrant colors from the world come to life and seem so vivid. I wish a camera could capture what I could see. This storm was different. After this storm, everything was still dull and foggy looking, like there was still more to come. I knew my storm had not passed yet, and I started to wonder if this weather was trying to tell me something. Being indecisive, I knew there were decisions to be made and courses of actions needed to be executed. I knew I could finally see those vibrant and vivid colors when I woke up and opened my eyes to see it. The only way to do it was to deal with my storm head on, over come the indecisiveness and grow up.

Weeks were whizzing by quicker than the seconds hand on my neon yellow Juicy Couture watch. I still could not see the colors and images I wanted to see. Feeling trapped and pressured into the decisions I needed to face, I laid myself down to sleep and I prayed to a higher being up above I knew was listing. "Please help me find myself and help me make a decision for a life I cannot call my own, but his own I want to be better. I know you will be there for me on either side I choose." Just as I said "Amen", the phone rang within seconds, I could only anticipate a beacon of light to shine on me. Turns out it was my aunty on the other line speaking of her best friends sister, and how she cannot experience this test of life, this gift of life. My decision I chose resulted in me answering this lady's prayers over many years.

God heard my most sincerest prayers I ever spoke from the deepest corners of my heart, and as fast as lighting he answered my prayers. Goose bumps oozed down from my neck to my spin and hit every nerve in my body. Instantly I knew that this was the right thing to do, so certain more than ever about anything in my life, I could finally wake up, open my eyes, and see those vivid and alive colors outside my window.

I know it is Christmas when Diamond Head is green, the sky is a light gray, a cool crisp air that makes me feel that everything is all back to normal and right in my world again. I can hear the joy shinning off of people's faces from the intense holiday cheer. The words "I Found God on the corner of first and Amistad" from the song "You Found Me" by The Fray, played from the tiny speakers in my macbook air laptop. I truly did find God through this whole storm, he was the father from up above.
The storm has passed and I realized that the life test was not over yet. Like a rock submerged in water I knew I could now call it a stepping stone in my life, just like the storm is now in my past. How I see life and make life from here on out after the storm was the real test. A basketball coach once told me, "That what is done is done. If it already happened theres no point in trying to change it. What matters is how you react to the situation. Attitude equals one hundred. You have to give one hundred percent of all your attitude to bounce back in hard times and to overcome any problems and storms in life."

Now, when I walk down the sandy white beaches of my home town Honolulu, I really feel like I am floating on the waves that crash the shore with the grains of sand exfoliating the soles of my feet as I now glide over it. Looking back at this past six months I realized that I did not find God only after the storm, but He was with me before the storm even came. All those weird coincidences of numerous songs playing describing my thoughts and actions. The force I heard in my head telling me what to do, pushing me forward down the sand. I truly saw the work of God after the thunderstorm hit. I have seen how truly blessed I am and how fortunate I am to have something so tragic happen to me and I can walk out of it with a smile on my face stretching from ear to ear. Only a person with an amazing family and awesome friends could have the support I had. With support like that is the only reason why I can stand on my own two feet, make my own decisions, stand up for myself, and take a good outlook of life to help others with their problems and answering their prayers. There really is more to life than what lies at the horizon.
   





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