Saturday, February 26, 2011

Baby Alien

Baby Alien
Cara Jean Kamehiro
February 26, 2011
RD2

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always imagined aliens to look like little green people with three fingers, big eye(s) or a bunch of little ones, and short stubby antennas on their heads who fly around our galaxies in gigantic UFOs and speak different dialect tones. Aliens are said to be nonexistent, so I'll leave picturing an alien to your imagination. I know such creatures do not exist so I could not believe my eyes when they stumbled across a computer screen attached to a television screen that showed the alien in my bubble. That was the only way to see him, an unknown creature to the eye, but technology allowed me to see him, and with my hands and body I could feel him. He did not speak any tones yet, though he does yawn, swallow, "breath", and blink just like us humans. He did have only a couple fingers visible at this moment, but more to form was a sure in. Two big eyes that are closed, a tiny nose and small lips that looked just like mine! No hair on the head like me, yet, but no antennas either! What kind of creature could this be that I am staring at. A UFO he did own and it was his own spaceship that he just lays and sleeps in all day long. Though he does not fly around galaxies in outer space, but he does swim in a galaxy inside a space. Definitely an alien, could be the only word to describe him to some, but I like to call him my baby boy.


The night passed and grew to morning as the clock struck twelve, and I start to end my day finishing my marathon of "The O.C." on my computer. February twenty second at one forty-five strolls along the clock and my eyes start to get super heavy. This baby makes me wobble and waddle. I slowly make my way over to my ship to never, never land and realize standing up that water is every where! Calmly I notice, yikes my water broke at two in the morning.


Mom and sister running frantically around the house getting things together to go to the hospital, while there I was moving at one mile per two hours lolligagging to put my things together. Finally packed and heading out the door, the night is dark, the air is cooler and thinner than the air conditioner temperature, stars shone almost as bright as the orange street lights that lined both sides of the street outside my Kahala town house. Cars lined the street with no parking left, leaving my sister, mom and I to walk to the back parking lot in a single file line to get to Lola, my mom's tomato red, two thousand and nine Carolla.


It is two thirty when I check in at the pink hospital with the name of Kapiolani. Feeling weird with water still oozing, what felt like all over the floor, but it was unnoticeable to young adults that were sitting in the waiting room watching the Disney channel, a television station designed for the little kids. A short wait in the room that was not really a room but just a television with chairs in a corner of the hospital entrance. I only had to sit there and wait two minutes max leaving me no time to mass text everyone the news. After the short wait I arrived at my first room, just so happened to be the same room I was in earlier in the year. Everything was happening so fast as if the little baby was controlling the whole universe to make way for his entrance.


Getting in the hospital mood, clothed in my gown and finally lying in bed number one. Being hooked up to monitors and pricked by millions of needles draining blood and pumping fluids in my vessels. I finally get to finish texting everyone, or everyone that knew I was having a baby, which were the close friends and family of course. In no time did my nurse reenter with a wheel chair that looked like it was made for a ten foot persons torso. Moving to room 301, my bed number two was waiting for me just down the hall and around the corner. Kicking, kicking, kicking so hard, he was pumping all the liquid from inside me out. He must know that I was being wheeled to the room where he was going to make his grand entrance.


This room was twice the size of my first room, bigger than my bed room at home. But all I could do now in this room was wait, and wait and wait, as he kicked harder and more often. Still dark outside he was still in darkness. Nurses came in and out of my room every half an hour, leaving my mom and I no time to sleep, not that the alien would let me. Sooner than ever it was light out and eleven o'clock came in no time. Got the wonder drug to kill the pain, but getting it is the worst pain ever! Nurses thought I would deliver at midnight that night. Though he must have felt the pain from the shot because come to realize delivery came sooner than anyone expected, rather than twelve more hours, two hours went by with a lot of cramping pains from him saying "get me out of here!" An hour went by and my baby, the alien finally arrived on February 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm.


The tinniest human from his UFO was the most quietest and cutest thing I had ever seen. Tones started to seek out of his little body as he lays on top of me he holds my finger and grips it tight and stares into my eyes bonding with me like he knew my face for years. He is all slimy, a grayish purple color, soft and squishy that if you did not know he was a new born you would think he was an odd purple alien with no antennas. I did not care what he looked like, just as long as he was mine, my flesh and blood, my one and only purple alien. His blink of his eyes looked like an alien, so slow and what looked to be uncomfortable. With his eye lids swollen and puffy you would not know what layer of skin would close over his eyes. His eyeballs as well looked all black when he opened them with no white around it. With in minutes, he started to look different, more human like. He was no longer slimy, he gained color in his squishy skin and more unexplained sounds emerged from him.


From a computer and television screen that was a pixel 3D face and felt like galaxies away, to a real life three dimension physical picture, laying right in my arms in front of my eyes. Imagine, my own living alien walking amongst us humans, as we make our own galaxy here on planet Earth.

5 comments:

  1. Cara,

    Very interesting, thoughtful, and humorous essay. This is a clever approach to writing about your baby's arrival and anxious moments trying to make his grand entrance. I've never heard someone describe their child's arrival this way.

    I did not see a clearly marked thesis statement, but assumed that: "Definitely an alien, could be the only word to describe him to some, but I like to call him my baby boy" was it.

    Name, date, and RD2 also need to be in the upper left corner. In addition, in the checklist for all drafts, it says to try to avoid exclamation points for dramatic emphasis.

    I'm real familiar with Kapiolani Hospital, and you did a nice of explaining getting in the hospital mood, and the steps taken.

    Overall, I thought the essay was well done, and just needs a few minor tweaks.

    Gen Greco

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  2. Cara,

    One correction. The following sentence should say: "I'm real familiar with Kapiolani Hospital, and you did a nice JOB of explaining getting in the hospital mood, and the steps taken."

    Gen Greco

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  3. Hey Cara,

    I agree with Gen: Creative entry indeed! I loved your use of your baby being this mysterious alien that you come into first contact with at birth. My only real issue is the immense amount of grammar errors throughout your essay. If you could clean this up, it would make your thoughts so much stronger.

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  4. Cara

    There are a few errors like: "His blink of his eyes looked like an alien, so slow and what looked to be uncomfortable" It is a little awkward. There are a few others but nothing serious. If you look them over and correct them your essay would be powerful. Reading it out loud helps a lot. But I found this essay to be very touching. Reading this makes me looks forward to evaluating you future essays. Thank you

    Anna

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  5. Also, make sure the formatting is correct. The thesis isnt labeled. Would want to have points deducted for little thing like that. But it is easy to see which sentence is your thesis.

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